Slumber party!
It had all started eight years back. The car matched the pace of the rock music being played inside. It was covered with a light mist from the smoke of the cigarettes and burning pot. It’s really a hedonistic thrill driving drunk, thought the driver. He was blazing through the streets and just by a foolish impulse, part because of the alcohol and part to impress and showcase his dare to his friends, he swerved the car right in the wrong way barely missing a truck from the opposite side just to get ahead of the traffic in the signal. Little that he knew that he had just entered the threshold of hell. Without stopping he floored the gas pedal and skipped the signal leaving the glaring red eye behind and avoiding incoming traffic by wriggling like a snake. The perpetual chants of faster, faster from his passengers motivated him more. The street lights, headlights from other vehicles and the even traffic lights behaved like they were being switched on and off because of the speed of the monster on wheels. Suddenly red and blue lights glared at the driver in his rear view mirror. Damn those fuzz, thought he. Loose them, bellowed the chorus. The fool in him obliged. He pressed his foot to the pedal again and drove the car to its brink. But the relentless lights haunted his mirror nevertheless. He puffed a lung full of smoke and accelerated again in a psychedelic trance. The buzzing of his phone made him jump. The phone fell to the floor. He bowed down and retrieved the buzzing cell and answered, Hello mama, recognizing the ringtone he had st for his dearest mother. There was a huge thud, his windshield cracked and he thought he saw something flying by him but he definitely heard the devilish scream in his phone.
With trembling hands I opened the door. It was a heavy door. The colorlessness hit me like a mighty paw. I moved into nothingness. The faint beep and blink of the various medical equipment and the burning smell of acetone were the only proof that I was in a hospital ward. With each step my heart skipped a beat. The drapes were shut tight. The night that the disaster happened crept through my mind though I tried hard to keep those at bay. The buzzing phone, the creaking and crashing windshield, the devilish scream. A faint light filtered through the slit in the drape and it shone on the dull, pale body lying on the bed. She was as ravishing as always. The protective aura which made me safe radiated through the different scars and stitches riddled all across the limp body of my angel, my mother.
Everything else happened fast. I was preserved and protected. Being the nephew of a ruling MLA served my case. A rich kid with a (corrupt) political background can never go to jail even though if that kid had just killed his own mother while being high. I was let off easily but the guilt crept through me. They got me married so that I will be involved with family. Everything was almost normal, the memories started to fade. Then my son was born and the nightmares started. The memories were hard to repress but can be endured but it was the nightmares. When you are awake and memories flood you, you can always divert yourself by doing something else and by practice you become good at it. But nightmares creep on you when you are vulnerable, when you are exposed, when you are in an utter state of helplessness. You can’t control it and your damn brain twists it and makes them scarier beyond your wildest imagination. The most I hated about it is that it was slowly turning my fairy goddess into a ribald and diabolical demonic monster. Each night waking up screaming, shivering and sweating at the same time. I was afraid to sleep. No matter how drunk or drugged, I never could achieve REM sleep. I never could get a good night’s dreamless sleep. I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to be an insomniac, voluntarily. That’s when I saw a shrink. After trying every method for me to overcome my nightmares he suggested something else. There was a banned drug which blocks the sleep receptors, much like caffeine he said. It was used in helping patients to stay awake when their brain is being operated on. I volunteered to be use this god sent elixir. The faulty drug made all my sleep receptors insensitive by blocking them. Forever. I couldn't sleep. I was ecstatic. I was finally free. Then slowly it started. Everyone became irritable and everything made me become maudlin. Every little thing was a cause of annoyance. I began to have hallucinations of the nightmares that I used to have. Slowly reality began to sink in. I realized they were right. I needed to sleep. Desperately. But everything and everyone was against it. There was light everywhere, too much of it. There was no running away from it. Noises. Loud. The deep rhythmic breathing of my wife sleeping peacefully right beside me created an unbearable cacophony. She did it just to get on my nerves. That bitch. And more worse is the little devil, who knew just when to scream, no doubt sent by his mother to disturb me. This madness had to stop and yes it will.
Now everyone is gone. The cozy bed is welcoming me with open arms. I crossed two stiff bodies to get to the heavenly bed. My blood boiled seeing them lying there. Still. Rigid. Asleep. Even when dead they succeeded at pissing me off. Earnestly hoping and praying that the sleeping pills work. Time to really stop thinking and wait for the elusive and this time eternal sleep to engulf me with their nightmares. My very own, private slumber party!
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